Konnichiwa Adventures: More Language Laughs ... and other things that make me giggle

I can't believe I am so incredibly willing to embarrass myself .... here goes nothing.

For those of you who know me well, you know that I haaaate being wrong. It's a character flaw, really. Well, this Japanese experience is teaching me that no matter how hard I try (and I am trying soooo darn hard), I will still be wrong much of the time. Some days I handle it better than others, but I am definitely getting a lot of practice at it and may soon be downright skilled at being wrong. Being wrong gracefully is a whole other issue however...

So, here goes. A recent list of language laughs:

1. A mom on our street had just gotten a new haircut. I thought I told her it looked "kawai" which means "cute." She thought I said "kowai" which means "scary." Uhhhh.... oops.

2. I was getting my haircut, and I was trying to tell the stylist-guy that my 40th birthday was approaching and so I was open to any suggestions he might have for a new style, etc. Only problem is that I told him that next week I'm turning "yonsai," which means FOUR, not FORTY. I really do know how to count in Japanese, but I said it several times - I can't even begin to explain this extremely basic mistake. And I must admit, for a split milli-second, I thought his quizzical look was because he couldn't really believe I was turning 40 (with my youthful appearance and all, I say oh-so-jokingly in a land where women cannot even fathom a wrinkle and never let their skin see the light of day). What was I thinking?

3. Ethan was walking home from school with a bunch of his friends and their moms after a school event (I had had to leave early to bike across town to pick up Ryan). As I approached on my bike, everyone was laughing. As I pull to a stop, I learn that Ethan had just said "yabba" but I have idea what that means. One of the moms whispered to me that it's basically the equivalent of "oh shit." When his friend Yuugo's mom asked where he learned that, he immediately said "from Yuugo" to which she quickly responded "Yuugo is a very bad teacher." They were still laughing about it when I arrived. And there you have it - Ethan's first accidental bad word in Japanese. But, Ethan insists that it's not his fault, he was just learning form his friend.

4. I was at my Japanese class and my sensei asked me "Of your kodomo (children), which is your favorite?" I looked at her in horror and refused to answer. Do moms really have favorites in Japan? She looked back at me, a little taken aback. So, I repeated the question back to her. At which point, she started laughing. Turns out - I thought she said, "of your children, which is your favorite?" but what she really said was "of the kudamono (fruit), which is your favorite?" Ahhhhh, yes, that makes all the difference. Pineapple is my favorite fruit. On some days, it's my favorite child as well.

5. Ryan started an English class (yep, you read that right) and after his first class, his teacher told me that she had just finished telling the other students (who are all Japanese, of course) that Ryan was from America so they all needed to make sure they only speak English for him .... at which point Ryan busted out in full Japanese ... in his English class... proving his teacher very wrong. Oops - a little language confusion.

6. Written by Ethan: "I have English class at school and we were supposed to say "no" if there wasn't a certain color on the board, but I forgot it was English class and yelled out "inai"which is the answer in Japanese." Oops.

Yep... more language confusion. The one hour in the entire week that Ethan can speak English at school and he doesn't!

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And some signs that made me laugh. Seems I have the funny bone of a 10-year old boy based on the number of these that are somehow related to the bathroom...

Visual depiction inside the restroom for how to use a "western" toilet.

And to be fair and provide information equally, a similar diagram as to how
to use a traditional Japanese toilet.

"Lavatory: It has separated to the male and the woman. Don't mistake."

I continue my fascination with gargling. A water fountain at the Tokyo
Immigration Bureau (where one would think there are not that many Japanese people) that has
a spigot for gargling water (the red one, labeled in both English and Japanese) and
a spigot for drinking water (the blue one, also labeled). I've shown this photo to
a few friends and they are similarly perplexed as to why the water would be different...

And a few more FOR MATURE AUDIENCES only:

In the amusing words of my Hong Kong Travel Partner and Peace Corps friend, Sandy,
"This is just perplexing."
Look closely at the green sign above the bins.