Jasmine - The Best Dog in the Whole Entire World

The kids were 1 1/2 weeks into the new school year, when we received an e-mail from Mickie that Jas was not doing well.  It was a rainy Sunday morning and luckily for us, the rain cancelled Ethan's all-day soccer tournament giving us the time and space we needed to talk to Mickie, make some very hard decisions, contemplate a trip to LA, and ultimately to book flights for me and the kids 4 days later.

Jas - April 2013

Months ago, I had decided that I wanted to go back to LA to be with Jas at the end.  Given how focused the kids were on seeing Jas this summer, we decided that they needed to be able to see her again as well.  As difficult as it was, it was the right decision for our family.  And for Jas.

It was hard when we told the kids that we were going to visit Jas.  We actually thought it would be easier.  We just told them that we got a message from Mickie and that Jas was having a hard time walking and so we were going to go visit her soon.  We were intentionally upbeat and positive and somewhat vague.  Ethan was all smiles for a minute and then it hit him and he said "just in case" and got all sad.  Ryan was all quiet and then burst out crying saying "this means it's time for Jas to die soon. When that happens, I don't want Jas to die."  Unfortunately, they had it / us figured out in about 30 seconds.  So, there were lots of tears shed and we tried to reassure them, but it was hard.  Really hard.  We knew the weekend in LA would be hard, too.  And it was.

Below is the story of our last weekend with Jas:

It was a bittersweet weekend, but Jas is now at peace.  

The kids and I arrived on Thursday afternoon, Mickie picked us up at LAX, and we went directly to her house to see Jas.  The kids were so excited to see her, and she seemed very excited to see us.  It was very difficult for Jas to walk and it was painful to watch.  But she showered us with licks and kisses...

We headed straight to Mickie's to see Jas...

The weekend was spent hanging out with Jas at Mickie's house - she liked sitting outside on the driveway or in the front yard on the grass - intermixed with distractions for both me and the kids.  We got to see Scott on Friday for a trip to Cold Stone Creamery, plus trips to both In-n-Out and Chipotle.  Oh yeah, plus cereal every morning, 3-D sidewalk chalk courtesy of Mickie, and using the big water shooters to play in Mickie's pool.  We skyped with Kevin so he could see Jas, and at one point, Ethan mentioned that he thought Jas seemed sad and not as excited as she used to be.  I had had the same thought just moments before...

Chilling by the pool

Fun with Jas...

Playing Go Fish

A chance for Uncle Scott to see Jas, and a welcome distraction for us all...

We spoiled Jas with treats, some that we brought with us from Japan and lots that Mickie had at her house.  Both boys were very attentive to Jas all weekend along. Plus, Jas got In-n-Out burger for breakfast one morning.

Oh yeaaaaahhhhhh...

Now, we're talking, this is some gooood breakfast...

Thanks, boys!  I owe you...

Every night, we had a slumber party on the living room floor.  Ethan and Ryan fell asleep each night snuggling with Jas.  The first 2 nights, Jas got up in the middle of the night and stumbled to another room to sleep by herself (I had to help her walk by holding a towel under her middle).  Mickie told me that she had read that dogs often want to be alone near the end, in order to protect their people.  On the first 2 nights, in the middle of the night, Ryan came to me on the couch, saying "Jas left so I can't snuggle with her, so can I snuggle with you?"  Broke my heart.

On our last night, as we went to bed, the kids lost it - crying and wailing, "I don't want Jas to die."  I reminded Ryan of what he said when we had to say goodbye to Jas when we moved to Japan.  He had said "It'll be OK, Jas.  We'll always love you.  I promise."  So, we said that again.  

Making a Jas paw print...

We hadn't told them anything specific, but they both had figured out quickly that the end was near.  As the night wore on, I waited and watched to help Jas move to another room like the previous two nights, but she never moved to get up.  I was afraid to move, fearing that it might spur Jas to want to get up. Finally, around 4 AM, I moved closer to Jas and she stared into my eyes, licked my face, and stayed very close for the next 2 hours.  It was a sad, special time for me and Jas.  Ethan woke up around 6 AM and joined our special snuggle time.  When Ryan woke up, the first thing he said was that he wanted to wear his Jas shirt.  So he did - in fact, we all did.  

Sporting our Jas t-shirts...

One last brushing before we head to the airport...

Late that morning, we loaded up the car and made a bed in the car for Jasmine.  I had to lift her into the car, as she could no longer jump up.  Then, Jas and Mickie drove us to LAX.  Jas seemed quite happy with her nose sticking out the open window as we drove along.  She alternated between having her head out the window and laying her head on my arm on the middle console.  Both boys fell asleep on the drive.  

Headed to the airport...

Three sweet, sleeping souls...

It was a long, painful, teary good-bye in the LAX parking lot - for all of us.  

After they left LAX, Mickie took Jas to L&L Hawaiian BBQ for lunch (one of Kevin's favorite places) and let her indulge.  They drove a little more, and then ended up at Jas's favorite park - it's only a mile from Mickie's house, but Jas had not been able to walk that far for quite some time.  At the park, Jas went to sleep, and with the help of a vet, she didn't wake up.  Mickie texted me as we sat on the plane at LAX, ready to take-off to Tokyo: "Jas is at peace.  She is beautiful."  I cried, and by the grace of someone from above, the kids didn't seem to notice.  Mickie later told me that she whispered to Jas to go find Murphy (Mickie's very special dog) and chase squirrels in Tahoe, and at hearing that, Jas twitched her nose.  It made us smile.  And then, Jas fell asleep in Mickie's arms.


Ethan has said that he wants to take Jas (her ashes) "to the river behind our house in Tahoe where she likes to play" and to "Papa and Rosie's dog tree at the cabin."  That will likely become part of our summer plans.  

Jas playing in the river behind our Tahoe house...

It will be hard for the kids - they have experienced a lot of loss this past year, but I think it helped that they got to say good-bye.  Ethan's teacher told me today that he cried at school this morning about Jas, and before we left, he was very direct in telling all his friends that he had to go to America to say good-bye to his dog because she was going to die soon.  I think that was part of his grieving process.

We made it home to Tokyo with no problems.  The flight was mostly OK, with only a few sadness/crying moments for each of the boys (and me).  We got home late that night, so the next morning, we told the kids that Jas had died.  We told them that she waited for her family to come see her, and after they dropped us off at the airport, Mickie took her to lunch at L&L, and then took her to the park.  There, she fell asleep and didn't wake up, happy to have seen her family again and happy to be in a place where she could run and play and jump again - like the Jas we have always known and loved.  

Jas passed away around 3 PM on Sunday, April 28, 2013.  She was 13 years old.  She was a special, special part of our family.  Kevin and I got her before we were married, and seeing Kevin with Jas is what made it clear to me that he would also be a phenomenal dad.  She was great with the kids, putting up with their antics, so gentle with them, and always, always, always looking out for them.   Over a year after we moved to Japan, I was still a little surprised at how much the kids still missed her.  I thought it would get easier over time.  I was wrong. Ryan would still wake up in the middle of the night crying that he wanted Jas.  And not long ago, Ethan had been working on an English workbook page that asked for the number of family members.  When Ethan answered 5, I gave him a funny look.  He gave me a funny look back, and his immediate response was "Jas is a member of our family. even though she doesn't live with us, she will always be a member of our family."  How right he is.  

It was as good a weekend as we could have asked for... but it was sad.  We lost a family member, but we are glad we got to say good-bye and spend her last days with her.  We will forever be immensely grateful to Mickie for taking care of Jas even better than we ever could.  Truly, truly grateful. And we will forever be grateful that Jas was such a wonderfully important part of our family.  We will love her forever.  

Jas and Mickie

From Ethan:

Jas was our first dog.

And she was our best friend.

She was the best dog ever!

Jas and Ethan in LA

The photo on the Jas T-shirt

From Ryan:

I don't want to say anything because that's going to make me sad.  She's the best dog in the whole entire world.

The photo on the Jas T-shirt

Ryan and Jas in LA