So, here we are in our second year in Japan, and apparently, we missed quite a bit the first time around. Or maybe we're just still confused the second time around... Or something like that. Still so much to learn... and attempt to understand.
But before we get started, here's Today's Blog Quiz of the Day:
What was our spontaneous family adventure that lasted less than 1 day but required 2 suitcases and 4 backpacks?
Stop reading. Make your guess. Now. No cheating. Don't scroll to the end. [Answer provided at the end of this blog post.]
The four of us flew to Vietnam over Christmas; we all had our passports, all was fine. No problem at all. We left Japan and re-entered with no problems at Immigration.
No such luck on our quick trip to LA to say good-bye to Jas. This time it was just me and the kids and we were already in a fragile emotional state. We walked to the Immigration Counter, I handed them our 3 passports, all of which have our 3 year resident visas clearly affixed inside. Then they ask for my "alien registration card" which I hand them. Then, they ask for the kids' alien cards. What??? They don't have alien cards. They just have their passports. I respectfully insist that all they have is their passports. I showed them their Japanese health insurance cards. No dice. They tell me it's a blue paper. Still - a blank stare from me. I have no idea what they are talking about. We left the country over the winter break and we never had any blue pieces of paper that I could recall. I texted Kevin frantically. He was just as surprised as me and was sure the kids travelled only on their passports when we went to Vietnam only 4 months earlier.
We are ushered over to a little side counter. At this point, we meet the meanest, rudest Japanese woman I have ever met. Seriously. She basically yells at us to sit down and wait. I start to wonder if this is an alternate Japanese reality because NO ONE yells in Japan. Ethan is almost in tears. I am barely holding it together. I am begging the kids to behave because this woman holds the key to our travel fate in her hands. We sit. And wait. And wait some more. As I watch the time tick by, I am glad that we arrived at the airport early. She calls me over. She thrusts a paper at me, written in Japanese and tells me to sign it. "I'm sorry, I don't know what it says." She yells again to go sit and wait. Fabulous. So we sit and wait some more. Finally, she comes back with an English version. It basically says that we left the alien registration cards at home (which I'm not even sure we have, but I just go with it) and that I acknowledge that we could encounter visa problems when re-entering Japan. OK, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. First, we gotta get on our flight to LAX to go see Jas. The rest is details. So, I signed the $%#* paper and she FINALLY let us through the door to the Departure terminal. Just in time too - we headed to our gate and started boarding shortly thereafter.
And when returning to Japan only 3 short days later, our Immigration process was fast and painless. And when we got home, sure enough, the mean lady was right. In our stack of 1,793 documents that we received when we first arrived, were 2 blue pieces of paper - one for each of the kids. Super-duper-big-ooooops! Looks like we'll be carrying those with us for all future travel.
On a side note: We had our first ever US celebrity sighting in... Tokyo, of all places. After passing through Immigration on our way home, I see a guy standing around who looks awfully familiar. He's standing with 2 other people - a frumpy white lady, and a rather non-descript guy in glasses. As we walk by, the lady pulls something out of her purse, and in the process, drops some money on the ground, to which the possibly-famous-but-as-of-yet-unidentified guy picks it up and says 'What? You're just throwing money around now?" It was rather amusing.
As we take the escalator down to baggage claim, I keep craning my neck trying to figure out who the guy is. There's a huge group of rugby players standing nearby trying to take a big, group picture and being somewhat harrassed by the immigration authorities for taking photos (these people might have been famous, too, for all I know). No one was paying any attention to the guy I've noticed, but I was racking my brain to try and think of it who was. And for anyone who knows me, you know me that I am CLUELESS about pop culture, movies, actors, actresses, musicians. You name it - I probably don't know it. Then, all of a sudden, it hits me. It's the guy married to Jada Pinckett Smith. OK, how I pull her name out of the air first and not the much simpler name of Will Smith, I will never know. Anyway, he was standing nearby while we were waiting at baggage claim, but now there were several young kids with huge headphones hanging around too. I tried to convince the boys to take a picture with him, but they weren't into the idea and I was too embarrassed to do it anyway. A later google search informed me that it was indeed, Will Smith, with his son Jaden, who were both in Tokyo to promote their new movie. My first brush with fame. ... ooo-la-la.
Undokai Teams: More than Meets the Eye
So, during last year's Undokai, the red team (Ethan's team) won by a few points. This year, we had to leave Gekkohara's Undokai early so I asked a friend to text me the score because Ryan wanted to know. I was talking about it with her later and commenting on how the close the score was (there was only a few point difference between the 2 teams). At which point, she quietly enlightened me as to the extreme effort that goes into dividing the teams equally. Leading up to assigning Undokai teams, each child has to run a race several times, their individual times are recorded, and then that data is used to try and balance the 2 teams. And here, I thought, they just divided the school in half randomly. Ummm, nope. There is a method to this madness. I had noticed how incredibly serious it all was during the actual Undokai, but I had never thought about the masterminding involved in choosing teams for what is, essentially, field day. Totally missed that the first time around. And I must say, it takes away a bit of the joy for me, to know that it's all so calculated. [That said, the red team at Higashine's Undokai this year (Ethan's team) won 510-480, a veritable blowout in Undokai terms.]
OK, so it's swimming time again at school. Ethan gets a new pool card, where we have to write down his temperature every day and write a circle if he's permitted to swim and an X if he's not. Only this time, as I look at the form, I see that it says つめ、which means fingernails. What???? They have to check their fingernails to go swimming? I was almost (but not quite) growing to accept the idea that the referees check their fingernails before soccer games, because it's a contact sport (or so I was told). But for swimming? I continue my state of confusion... Apparently, I never even read this part of the form last year or my fingernail obsession would have started long before Ethan joined the soccer team. Last year, I apparently just wrote circles in all the blanks because I knew that meant that Ethan could swim. Oh well, we survived (until the mean Japanese Immigration lady from above reads this blog, hears about all of the crimes we have committed, and has us immediately deported).
So, I'm having the parent-teacher conference with Ryan's teacher (solo, no interpreter, long story). At some point, she tells me that Ryan needs to work on his がまん (gaman). I didn't know this word, so the teacher looks it up in her dictionary. The first definition listed is "patience" and I fully agree with this assessment - Ryan could definitely use more patience. She also uses a hand motion that seems to suggest pushing your own thoughts and feelings down, keeping them inside, but I didn't quite understand this in the context of "patience."
Kids are the Priority; Marriages Not So Much
Kevin was asked to give a "Leaders Talk" at a large technology conference in Tokyo. He agreed to do it (after confirming that he could present in English, not in Japanese) and he was busy preparing for his presentation (and by "he was busy preparing", I mean the night before, but I digress).
It was his first time to speak at such a large conference and I was interested to see what it was like and to watch him in action. So, with Kevin's blessing, I finagled myself a visitor's pass and planned to attend his talk. Turns out it was on the same day as ... wait for it ... prepare yourself ... the kindergarten summer festival that all the yochien moms spend hours preparing and practicing for (don't get me started about the perceived need to "practice" sticking little fake moles through a hole for a whack-a-mole type game).
Anyway, I talked to Ryan about it and he was perfectly fine if I missed the yochien festival to see Daddy's speech. Then, I checked in with a yochien mom friend, explained the situation (her English is pretty good), and asked her opinion about me not going. I expected a response of "no problem, you should go to Kevin's talk, no big deal to miss the yochien thing" - even if she didn't really mean it.
Ummmm, wrong again. Her advice: "Maybe you should start to feel sick the day before; I don't think the other moms would understand." Wowza. Well, I wasn't going to pretend to be sick, that's for sure. Just not my style. If I make a choice, I own it. As we talked a little bit more, my friend says, "well, we just think the kids are the priority, not the husband." And, I really, really like this friend.
OK, OK, I get that kids are important. My kids are incredibly important to me and also to Kevin. But....did I mention that we did this EXACT same festival last year? And that it lasts for TWO hours only? And that this was a BIG deal for Kevin? And that I WANTED to go? Yet, somehow, the only acceptable reason for me to miss this yochien festival was to be on my deathbed.
Now, truth be told, it all worked out fine, despite the advice from my friend. I told everyone the truth, that I would be attending my husband's speech, and that Ryan was fine with it. I did a host of "すみませんs” and profuse apologies and attended all the preparation meetings. No one had anything negative to say - at least, to my face, and since I wouldn't understand the subtle whispering or ever hear of any talk behind my back, I was perfectly fine with that.
So, I've lived abroad a fair amount. In conditions far more challenging than Tokyo. But, this past month or so has been rough. For somewhat unexplainable reasons. Nothing specific was wrong, yet everything seemed to be. My work contract was over. I had time to kill before our US Summer Tour 2013. What was going on? And finally, it hit me. I think this might be Homesickness. A bit of a Bart Simpson, 'Doh' moment, to say the least.
I don't think I've ever quite felt it this way before, though admittedly, that could be a slight case of selective memory.
And I think it might have been contagious - at least, it seemed like a little bit might have rubbed off on Ethan. I felt kind of bad about that... But, we leave for the US in less than a week, and we're all looking forward to it. Can't wait to see you all on the other side of the pond... (and eat Mexican food, and be able to find shoes in my size, and have cereal for breakfast, and long grain rice, and travel by car, and the list goes on...)
Yep, it's true. We took the long train journey to Costco, loaded up our suitcases, and carried our Costco loot home. It's not exactly the same as the US Costco, but it does have some of the same products (without the crazy long lines, since most Japanese (and us too) don't have storage or refrigerator or freezer space large enough for Costco items, so people don't really seem to buy that much). I must admit, I have NEVER enjoyed a Costco trip as much as I did on that day!
But before we get started, here's Today's Blog Quiz of the Day:
What was our spontaneous family adventure that lasted less than 1 day but required 2 suitcases and 4 backpacks?
Stop reading. Make your guess. Now. No cheating. Don't scroll to the end. [Answer provided at the end of this blog post.]
An Itty Bitty Detail about Travel Documents
The four of us flew to Vietnam over Christmas; we all had our passports, all was fine. No problem at all. We left Japan and re-entered with no problems at Immigration.
No such luck on our quick trip to LA to say good-bye to Jas. This time it was just me and the kids and we were already in a fragile emotional state. We walked to the Immigration Counter, I handed them our 3 passports, all of which have our 3 year resident visas clearly affixed inside. Then they ask for my "alien registration card" which I hand them. Then, they ask for the kids' alien cards. What??? They don't have alien cards. They just have their passports. I respectfully insist that all they have is their passports. I showed them their Japanese health insurance cards. No dice. They tell me it's a blue paper. Still - a blank stare from me. I have no idea what they are talking about. We left the country over the winter break and we never had any blue pieces of paper that I could recall. I texted Kevin frantically. He was just as surprised as me and was sure the kids travelled only on their passports when we went to Vietnam only 4 months earlier.
We are ushered over to a little side counter. At this point, we meet the meanest, rudest Japanese woman I have ever met. Seriously. She basically yells at us to sit down and wait. I start to wonder if this is an alternate Japanese reality because NO ONE yells in Japan. Ethan is almost in tears. I am barely holding it together. I am begging the kids to behave because this woman holds the key to our travel fate in her hands. We sit. And wait. And wait some more. As I watch the time tick by, I am glad that we arrived at the airport early. She calls me over. She thrusts a paper at me, written in Japanese and tells me to sign it. "I'm sorry, I don't know what it says." She yells again to go sit and wait. Fabulous. So we sit and wait some more. Finally, she comes back with an English version. It basically says that we left the alien registration cards at home (which I'm not even sure we have, but I just go with it) and that I acknowledge that we could encounter visa problems when re-entering Japan. OK, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. First, we gotta get on our flight to LAX to go see Jas. The rest is details. So, I signed the $%#* paper and she FINALLY let us through the door to the Departure terminal. Just in time too - we headed to our gate and started boarding shortly thereafter.
And when returning to Japan only 3 short days later, our Immigration process was fast and painless. And when we got home, sure enough, the mean lady was right. In our stack of 1,793 documents that we received when we first arrived, were 2 blue pieces of paper - one for each of the kids. Super-duper-big-ooooops! Looks like we'll be carrying those with us for all future travel.
On a side note: We had our first ever US celebrity sighting in... Tokyo, of all places. After passing through Immigration on our way home, I see a guy standing around who looks awfully familiar. He's standing with 2 other people - a frumpy white lady, and a rather non-descript guy in glasses. As we walk by, the lady pulls something out of her purse, and in the process, drops some money on the ground, to which the possibly-famous-but-as-of-yet-unidentified guy picks it up and says 'What? You're just throwing money around now?" It was rather amusing.
As we take the escalator down to baggage claim, I keep craning my neck trying to figure out who the guy is. There's a huge group of rugby players standing nearby trying to take a big, group picture and being somewhat harrassed by the immigration authorities for taking photos (these people might have been famous, too, for all I know). No one was paying any attention to the guy I've noticed, but I was racking my brain to try and think of it who was. And for anyone who knows me, you know me that I am CLUELESS about pop culture, movies, actors, actresses, musicians. You name it - I probably don't know it. Then, all of a sudden, it hits me. It's the guy married to Jada Pinckett Smith. OK, how I pull her name out of the air first and not the much simpler name of Will Smith, I will never know. Anyway, he was standing nearby while we were waiting at baggage claim, but now there were several young kids with huge headphones hanging around too. I tried to convince the boys to take a picture with him, but they weren't into the idea and I was too embarrassed to do it anyway. A later google search informed me that it was indeed, Will Smith, with his son Jaden, who were both in Tokyo to promote their new movie. My first brush with fame. ... ooo-la-la.
 |
| Tokyo's Narita Airport Source:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2316603/Will-Smith-cool-kid-Jaden-arrive-Tokyo-promote-new-sci-fi-film.html |
Undokai Teams: More than Meets the Eye
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| Ethan winning his race at Undokai... |
So, during last year's Undokai, the red team (Ethan's team) won by a few points. This year, we had to leave Gekkohara's Undokai early so I asked a friend to text me the score because Ryan wanted to know. I was talking about it with her later and commenting on how the close the score was (there was only a few point difference between the 2 teams). At which point, she quietly enlightened me as to the extreme effort that goes into dividing the teams equally. Leading up to assigning Undokai teams, each child has to run a race several times, their individual times are recorded, and then that data is used to try and balance the 2 teams. And here, I thought, they just divided the school in half randomly. Ummm, nope. There is a method to this madness. I had noticed how incredibly serious it all was during the actual Undokai, but I had never thought about the masterminding involved in choosing teams for what is, essentially, field day. Totally missed that the first time around. And I must say, it takes away a bit of the joy for me, to know that it's all so calculated. [That said, the red team at Higashine's Undokai this year (Ethan's team) won 510-480, a veritable blowout in Undokai terms.]
The Ever Perplexing Pool Card
OK, so it's swimming time again at school. Ethan gets a new pool card, where we have to write down his temperature every day and write a circle if he's permitted to swim and an X if he's not. Only this time, as I look at the form, I see that it says つめ、which means fingernails. What???? They have to check their fingernails to go swimming? I was almost (but not quite) growing to accept the idea that the referees check their fingernails before soccer games, because it's a contact sport (or so I was told). But for swimming? I continue my state of confusion... Apparently, I never even read this part of the form last year or my fingernail obsession would have started long before Ethan joined the soccer team. Last year, I apparently just wrote circles in all the blanks because I knew that meant that Ethan could swim. Oh well, we survived (until the mean Japanese Immigration lady from above reads this blog, hears about all of the crimes we have committed, and has us immediately deported).
And while on the topic of confusion and pool cards, we were at a super-fun birthday party for Ethan's friend, Yuugo, last weekend - all Japanese folks (except for us), but one of the moms had been living in Singapore for the past few years and one of the moms had been living in Washington DC for the past 11 years - they are very good friends of Yuugos' mom and were back in Japan visiting for the summer and their kids were going to local schools while they were in Japan. Talking to these Japanese moms with very international perspectives lead to some very interesting (and amusing) conversations. Soooo, this seemed like a good group of people to help me understand the ever-perplexing pool card.
Me: "What is the purpose of recording a child's temperature on the pool card?"
Them: "Because if he has a fever, he can't swim."
Me: "But if he has a fever, he won't be at school anyway."
Silence, then laughter
Them: "Good point. I never thought about that."
So, I'm afraid I may have only increased the population who is perplexed by the pool card...
The Often Entertaining "Google Translate" and My Japanese Dictionary
I have become a big fan of google translate. We use it alot, and though it is definitely not perfect, it often helps me understand the jist of the approximately 17 messages we receive every week from school or soccer.
Except one time when I am pretty darn sure that the translation wasn't quite accurate.
So, a friend on my soccer team had forgotten to bring me a uniform at our last practice, So, she e-mailed me one afternoon to see if I was home so that she could stop by and bring me a uniform as I needed it for a tournament that same weekend.
Her e-mail, courtesy of Google Translate was:
Hi there!Now, are you? A house?
Uniform, I will deliver.
Now that you have heard to Rika [our coach], you know abortion want!
Whhaaaaat? I am still trying to figure out what that last line was really supposed to say...
And then, just last week, I was looking up the Japanese word for "infection" and one of the "certified examples" is:
Japanese:じんせいとはちめいてきのせいかんせんしょうだ
English: Life is a fatal sexually transmitted disease.
Not exactly how I like to look at it, but OK, you're the dictionary - what do I know?
And then, just last week, I was looking up the Japanese word for "infection" and one of the "certified examples" is:
Japanese:じんせいとはちめいてきのせいかんせんしょうだ
English: Life is a fatal sexually transmitted disease.
Not exactly how I like to look at it, but OK, you're the dictionary - what do I know?
Cultural Differences Are Everywhere (even when 5 year olds are coloring birds)
So, I'm having the parent-teacher conference with Ryan's teacher (solo, no interpreter, long story). At some point, she tells me that Ryan needs to work on his がまん (gaman). I didn't know this word, so the teacher looks it up in her dictionary. The first definition listed is "patience" and I fully agree with this assessment - Ryan could definitely use more patience. She also uses a hand motion that seems to suggest pushing your own thoughts and feelings down, keeping them inside, but I didn't quite understand this in the context of "patience."
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| Ryan showing some gaman (and sporting his new Japanese summer haircut) |
She gives an example of a group of kids working on some sort of project (but the actual nature of the project remains unclear to me). All the other kids want to make pink birds and Ryan wants to make a blue bird. But, apparently, everyone had to agree on only one color. I have ZERO understanding as to why they couldn't have different color birds (plus, I'm a life-long hater of the color pink). So, at this point, I can't help myself, and I (hopefully) very respectfully say this seems to be a cultural difference, because in most American schools, kids could each make their own bird whatever color they want. To which the teacher replied, with a slightly amused chuckle, "Ahhh, but in Japan, cooperation is the most important thing" (but she said this in Japanese). As we continue to discuss this issue, it starts to become clearer that がまん has a meaning other than "patience." So, later, I look up the word in the dictionary again and figure out that the correct definition for what the teacher was trying to say was "self-denial" - basically giving in to what others want. This makes her hand motions from the beginning of our conversation make a little more sense.... At times, this might be called compromise, but in the case of bird-coloring, it seems a lot more like "self-denial" to me.
On the bikeride home from school that day, I told Ryan that his teacher said he needed to work on "gaman." Ryan's response in English: "I did gaman today and then I told the other kids that I already did gaman today so I couldn't do anymore. Seriously, Mom, I can't do gaman all the time."
Wow - truer words have not been spoken - I couldn't agree more - sometimes, you have to stick to your guns and stand up for yourself. Clearly, I do not and never will make a very good Japanese mom. It's becoming questionable as to whether we (or maybe, I should only speak for myself here) could last in Japan for the long-term. I would have colored the bird blue too. And I probably still will.
Wow - truer words have not been spoken - I couldn't agree more - sometimes, you have to stick to your guns and stand up for yourself. Clearly, I do not and never will make a very good Japanese mom. It's becoming questionable as to whether we (or maybe, I should only speak for myself here) could last in Japan for the long-term. I would have colored the bird blue too. And I probably still will.
Kids are the Priority; Marriages Not So Much
Kevin was asked to give a "Leaders Talk" at a large technology conference in Tokyo. He agreed to do it (after confirming that he could present in English, not in Japanese) and he was busy preparing for his presentation (and by "he was busy preparing", I mean the night before, but I digress).
It was his first time to speak at such a large conference and I was interested to see what it was like and to watch him in action. So, with Kevin's blessing, I finagled myself a visitor's pass and planned to attend his talk. Turns out it was on the same day as ... wait for it ... prepare yourself ... the kindergarten summer festival that all the yochien moms spend hours preparing and practicing for (don't get me started about the perceived need to "practice" sticking little fake moles through a hole for a whack-a-mole type game).
Anyway, I talked to Ryan about it and he was perfectly fine if I missed the yochien festival to see Daddy's speech. Then, I checked in with a yochien mom friend, explained the situation (her English is pretty good), and asked her opinion about me not going. I expected a response of "no problem, you should go to Kevin's talk, no big deal to miss the yochien thing" - even if she didn't really mean it.
Ummmm, wrong again. Her advice: "Maybe you should start to feel sick the day before; I don't think the other moms would understand." Wowza. Well, I wasn't going to pretend to be sick, that's for sure. Just not my style. If I make a choice, I own it. As we talked a little bit more, my friend says, "well, we just think the kids are the priority, not the husband." And, I really, really like this friend.
OK, OK, I get that kids are important. My kids are incredibly important to me and also to Kevin. But....did I mention that we did this EXACT same festival last year? And that it lasts for TWO hours only? And that this was a BIG deal for Kevin? And that I WANTED to go? Yet, somehow, the only acceptable reason for me to miss this yochien festival was to be on my deathbed.
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| Ryan at the yochien Tanabata festival (this is the week before the summer festival that I missed). He wrote his wish in Hiragana on the blue paper all by himself! |
Now, truth be told, it all worked out fine, despite the advice from my friend. I told everyone the truth, that I would be attending my husband's speech, and that Ryan was fine with it. I did a host of "すみませんs” and profuse apologies and attended all the preparation meetings. No one had anything negative to say - at least, to my face, and since I wouldn't understand the subtle whispering or ever hear of any talk behind my back, I was perfectly fine with that.
New Experiences in Year 2: Karaoke and Kendo
Our first ever Karaoke experience (for me and the kids, that is - Kevin is apparently famous for his drunken rendition of Country Road). They even have a "family room."
And 2 good friends of Ethan's take Kendo classes every week, and they invited us to watch their Kendo class. Both Ethan and Ryan were infatuated by all the sword hitting and are eager to start Kendo, but we're gonna hold off for a little bit and see if the interest sticks (after all, the Kendo equipment has to be custom-made, so I'm sure it comes at no small pricetag).
And 2 good friends of Ethan's take Kendo classes every week, and they invited us to watch their Kendo class. Both Ethan and Ryan were infatuated by all the sword hitting and are eager to start Kendo, but we're gonna hold off for a little bit and see if the interest sticks (after all, the Kendo equipment has to be custom-made, so I'm sure it comes at no small pricetag).
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| Ethan's friend, all decked out in his kendo gear |
Homesickness is a Real Thing
So, I've lived abroad a fair amount. In conditions far more challenging than Tokyo. But, this past month or so has been rough. For somewhat unexplainable reasons. Nothing specific was wrong, yet everything seemed to be. My work contract was over. I had time to kill before our US Summer Tour 2013. What was going on? And finally, it hit me. I think this might be Homesickness. A bit of a Bart Simpson, 'Doh' moment, to say the least.
I don't think I've ever quite felt it this way before, though admittedly, that could be a slight case of selective memory.
And I think it might have been contagious - at least, it seemed like a little bit might have rubbed off on Ethan. I felt kind of bad about that... But, we leave for the US in less than a week, and we're all looking forward to it. Can't wait to see you all on the other side of the pond... (and eat Mexican food, and be able to find shoes in my size, and have cereal for breakfast, and long grain rice, and travel by car, and the list goes on...)
Answer to the Blog Quiz
Yep, it's true. We took the long train journey to Costco, loaded up our suitcases, and carried our Costco loot home. It's not exactly the same as the US Costco, but it does have some of the same products (without the crazy long lines, since most Japanese (and us too) don't have storage or refrigerator or freezer space large enough for Costco items, so people don't really seem to buy that much). I must admit, I have NEVER enjoyed a Costco trip as much as I did on that day!
Glad you chose to attend Kevin's speech! Well done!
ReplyDeleteDid you have a nice time in the States? One of my friends who has lived in Thailand for 20+ years once told me that he gets the most culture-stressed/homesick just before he goes back home for a visit. Somehow our emotions must know it's time to be synching!