The Real Thing - Papa and Rosie's Visit - Spring 2014

Guest Bloggers: Rosie and Papa

Skype is great, but it doesn’t make up for THE REAL THING!!!

We arrived at the airport in Tokyo on April 28, made our way by train from the airport and were met by Ryan and Stephanie at Shibuya station,  near the home of the Narimatsujayne clan.  When we arrived, Ethan had just returned from soccer practice and Kevin was cooking supper.  It was wonderful to be with all four of them once again!!  And, to our good fortune, our visit overlapped slightly with an acquaintance from the past, Iris Gibbons, who had been Steph’s gym teacher in 6^th grade (and her very special adult friend during the one year we lived in the Atlanta area).

The boys had several days off from school for Golden Week (a Japanese holiday honoring several things including Children's Day, Constitution Day, and Greenery Day).  As Stephanie has mentioned before it is difficult to understand the logic of the Japanese holidays—one day off, one day at school and then another day off. 

At any rate, the six of us made a trip to Hiroshima that became a special memory for all of us.  Getting six people to the train station on time takes a lot of thinking ahead—thank goodness Stephanie and Kevin knew what they were doing and we just followed.

Our shinkansen to Hiroshima...

We rode on the bullet train to Hiroshima where we stayed in The World Friendship Center, founded in the 1950’s by an American woman whose mission was to build bridges between the  survivors of the atomic bomb and Americans.  It is now directed by a volunteer couple from the US on a 2-year assignment from the Church of the Brethren.  In addition to our lodging and breakfast we had the opportunity to meet a survivor of the bombing. Hearing an 83-year-old describe her experience as a child, whose life was upended by the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima, and see the pictures she had drawn from her memory of that tragic event, was extraordinarily meaningful.  We also had a guided tour of the Memorial Peace Park, arranged by the Center.

Kohno-san - she and the boys have since become pen pals and she sent us a
copy of her book about her A-bomb experience

Making origami cranes at the Peace Park

Ryan at the Children's Monument

Peace Park at night

We then rode a ferry to nearby Miyajima Island, where we visited the famous Itsukushima Shrine (often known as the floating red gates).   We then stayed overnight in a cabin at a beachside park and did some exploring.  The island is heavily populated by very friendly deer, who are known to munch on people’s clothing.  We kept our distance!

Of course, fish cake on a stick shaped like a maple leaf - why not?

At low tide

At the summit of our Miyajima Island hike...

Searching for creatures on the beach...

Hiroshima-style okonomiyaki

Back in Tokyo:  Since the boys were in school and Kevin and Stephanie were working, we headed out on our own--armed with maps of trains, map of Tokyo, apps galore (but just because the apps were on the phone didn’t necessarily mean we knew what to do with them), more maps and a "kid phone" that could only call Kevin and Stephanie.  We were certainly proud of our success in navigating our way around—and in figuring out when we were “a little lost” and making the necessary corrections.  We even made a two day trip to Kyoto—but more about that later.

Another highlight was being able to participate in a traditional Japanese tea ceremony.  Stephanie’s friend, Mucchan, who trained for ten years to be able to conduct tea ceremonies, presented the ceremony for Stephanie, Ethan (he was home sick), and us at Stephanie and Kevin’s home. Another friend, Mayuko, helped with the explanations in English.  It is a beautiful ritual, the meaning of which is derived in part from Buddhist spirituality, and we felt honored to be invited to experience it.

The "American lunch" of Brunswick stew and corn bread,
as a small thank you for the Japanese tea ceremony

About midway through our visit, we thought our hosts might need a break from their Occidental guests.  Thus we set off on our own to the ancient city of Kyoto.  The city is filled with Buddhist temples, and we had the privilege of lodging in a temple complex.  Our stay included an introduction to Zen meditation, taught by one of the temple priests.  The meditation session was followed by a guided tour of the temple, and a brief tea ceremony.  We explored parts of the city as well, and made a side trip to a nearby rural village.  A delightful trip, but we were glad to get back to our Tokyo family.

Stephanie had learned of a hotel in Tokyo, which is open only to people with a US military or government ID, so we used our Navy retiree ID’s to host the rest of the family for two delightful excursions.  The New Sanno Hotel turned out to be one of those best-kept secrets you hear about.  We would describe it as a 4-star hotel at 1-star prices.  Obviously we didn’t need a hotel room, but the facility also had excellent restaurants, a Navy Exchange and a beautiful swimming pool.  Our first trip there was on a school day for the boys, so Stephanie, Kevin and the two of us “tested it out” and found the breakfast buffet to be outstanding.  There were some bargains to be had at the Navy Exchange as well.  We then took the boys there on a Saturday (unfortunately Kevin was out-of-town) and let them get our money’s worth, and then some, at the breakfast buffet.  They ate cereal like there was no tomorrow, and consumed amazing quantities of the other menu items as well.  We then let them loose at the pool, and they stayed in the water close to 5 hours!   By then it was dinnertime, so once again we enjoyed the culinary pleasures of the New Sanno Hotel

restaurant.

We happened to be in Tokyo for Mother’s Day, which began with an elaborate breakfast in bed for the two moms in the house.  The meal was enthusiastically and deliciously prepared by Ethan and Ryan, with a bit of assistance from Kevin (the one-eyed-egg chef).  The celebration continued with some beautiful Mother’s Day art work by our talented little boys.

Soccer is a major enterprise for Ethan and Ryan, and, to a lesser degree, for their parents (who play in an adult league).  We enjoyed watching the boys’ late-afternoon practices at their school, and were expecting to see Ethan’s team play a game on Mother’s Day.  Then we learned that Ethan’s game would not take place, but there would be a practice at the game field.  That practice turned out to be a very entertaining event, as it morphed into a game played by teams made up of kids and parents, followed by a game played by the kids vs. the parents.  Kevin and Stephanie were among the top “hot dogs” of the parent set, and we grandparents had great fun watching all of the on-field excitement.  And it was a real thrill getting to see Ethan scoring goals—one of which was assisted by his dad!

A major event of our trip was being there when Ryan learned to ride his bike without training wheels! It was utterly amazing how quickly his skills developed once he got the hang of it.  He kept the roads hot around their neighborhood cruising around after “the day that changed his life,” as he put it.  We were really happy to be witnesses to Ryan’s great success.

Another real plus for us was getting to meet Lizzy, Ryan’s spotted leopard gecko.  We had met her via Skype, and were impressed with her good looks even then, but in person, she’s a real charmer.  She loves to crawl around  exploring, when she has play time out of her little house, and it’s fun to have her crawl up your arm.  Mealtime is a treat to watch, as Lizzy sneaks up on her prey (crickets) and then grabs one in her mouth, swallowing it instantly.  She’s Ryan’s pet, but she has the whole family wrapped around her cute little fat tail.  (Note:  A gecko stores fat in the tail—the equivalent of our hips?) 

New experiences, new people, new foods, new stories . . . Headed home we realize how fortunate we have been to enjoy another wonderful stay with the Tokyo band of our family.  They are truly living an adventure.

It's a brave, new world for Ryan...

Youchien 

ようちえん Graduation

After two years at Gekkouhara Youchien, it was time to take a moment to say good-bye to the friends, families, and teachers who had welcomed us with kindness and grace.  This was especially true for Sakamoto-sensei, also known as Atsuka-sensei.

It was also a time to reflect on how far Ryan has come in his 2 years in Japan.

Two years ago - Ryan at his youchien opening ceremony

And 2 years later... at youchien graduation.

Two years ago,
- Ryan could not speak a word of Japanese.  Today, he was loud and clear and vibrant and a very active and proud member of the youchien class.  He sang the loudest and accepted his "diploma" with gusto and precision (see below about the precision required).  People constantly comment on how much Ryan sounds like a native speaker - his pronunciation, mannerisms, choice of words.  This comment from others is often followed by chuckles of laughter at something they were surprised to hear come out of a little American boy's mouth.
- Ryan looked shy and nervous at the opening ceremony, and rightfully so.  Today, he smiled and laughed and was excited to be moving on to elementary school.  While others were sad and scared of leaving kindergarten, Ryan seemed happy to be on the brink of a new adventure.
- Ryan had to take both a fork/spoon and chopsticks to school for bento.  Today, he is a master of the chopsticks and even the other Japanese moms are impressed with his chopstick skills.  His youchien teachers get all the credit for that; we had nothing to do with it.

March 19, 2014 - Youchien Graduation Day

And then, there are some things that haven't changed at all in the last 2 years...  or maybe in the last 2 centuries...

Family roles:  At the youchien opening ceremony 2 years ago, Kevin and I were struck by the fact that the moms were all ushered into the front row and the dads basically had to just find a seat in the back somewhere.  As with much of what was happening around us during that time, we didn't really understand it, but we just played along.

At the youchien graduation ceremony, however, the symbolism seemed much more clear to me.  At the graduation information meetings, we learned that each child had 1 seat reserved at the front  - for the mother ONLY.  Again, the fathers were relegated to seats in the back of the bus.  This time, because I had finally started to see the trend, I was really appalled by this.

So, I started asking questions, as politely as possible.  Why is it only the mother?  Why are not both parents involved and recognized?

The answer I got from other youchien moms and the Director of the youchien: Because the dad is not really involved.  Wh-wh-wh-what?

Really? From the very beginning, the day of the opening ceremony, you treat the fathers like second-class citizens - literally being told to sit in the back of the room.  Is this not a self-fulfilling prophecy?  And what message does this send to the children about the roles of men and women in a family?

And the even sadder part of it is that the moms I spoke to, all smart, well-educated, women, did not even recognize it as odd.  It was simply the way it's always done.  Wowza.  My jaw still drops when I think about it.  This culture has some serious thinking to do; it is the year 2014 after all.

Ryan accepting his youchien diploma

Precision for 6 year olds:   The kids had practiced many times the "correct" way to accept the diploma from the principal - a very specific motion that included right hand outstretched first, left hand outstretched second, take hold of the certificate, draw it in towards the body at a 90 degree angle while taking one step backward, bow to the principal, then swivel on the right foot to turn 180 degrees, bow to the mom, and march the 10 steps to present the certificate to the mom (see above).  They looked a little like robots - but very, very cute robots - with rather serious and expressionless faces - except for Ryan, whose eye twinkle and upturned smile could not be hidden for long.

A short while later, after watching a tea ceremony, it occurred to me that this correct, precise way of accepting a kindergarten diploma also mirrored the precise, artistic, ritualistic motions of the age-old Japanese tea ceremony.  This made me feel a little better about it, but not entirely....

Ryan's Himawari (sunflower) class and all the parents

The graduation ceremony itself was a very sweet combination of the kids singing songs interspersed with each child saying/singing their own special line that they had written themselves about their 2 years at youchien.  Ryan was a rock star!

Higashine Elementary School Entrance Ceremonyにゅがくしき

Two days after returning from our China trip, Ryan had another big day!  The Higashine Elementary School Opening Ceremony on April (April 7, 2014).  At least we knew what to expect this time (and we knew we had to bring slippers this time).

Despite the fact that this was our SECOND opening ceremony and it is well known to be one of the most formal, celebrated events in Japanese life, somehow, Kevin seemed to think that it was OK not to wear a tie.  In a culture where everyone wears suits and ties alllllllll the time.  He tried to convince me that it was fine not to wear a tie, but no dice.  If Ryan had to wear a tie, so did he. I must admit, however, that the upside of this eleventh hour domestic dispute (literally as we walked out the door) was that it gave us something to do during the 1.5 hour long ceremony - namely to constantly scan the crowd to see if we could find anyone else not wearing a tie.  And in case you're wondering - I was right.

When we got to school, we had to find Ryan's name on the class list to find out which class he is in.  Ichi-nen, 2-kumi, Niwa-sensei.  He headed inside the school to his classroom and we made our way to the gymnasium (to sit in our assigned seats with all the other 1-2 family members).

The kids processed in, sat in the front with their class, listened to many, many, many congratulations from lots of different people.  They introduced the Higashine teachers and staff, and this was our first glimpse of Ryan's first grade teacher.  1)  She is tall - as in very tall. 2) She is new to the school, which is not surprising since they seem to transfer teachers like military hotcakes here), and 3) She was wearing PANTS!  As the only woman in the entire gymnasium wearing pants, I immediately liked her just for being different (and the irony is not lost on me with respect to Kevin and the tie situation).

This time the ceremony was a lot more fun - mostly because we were slightly less clueless than during Ethan's ceremony.  And Kevin and I both commented that we were pleasantly surprised that we could understand most, if not all, of the Principal's words to the incoming first-graders.  The fact that we consider it note-worthy/impressive that we could understand a speech intended for 6 year-olds is quite depressing, but alas...

This poor kid sitting next to Ryan didn't quite know what to make of Ryan's exuberance...

1-nen, 2-kumi - Niwa Sensei's class and all the parents

Higashine Elementary School will never be the same!

At the end of the ceremony, the kids processed out and then all the parents joined the kids in the classroom to receive their books, other assorted school supplies, and of course, the ichi-nensei yellow hats!

The Ichi-nensei Yellow Hat (and cherry blossoms in the schoolyard)

I looooove Ryan in his yellow hat!  It's so incredibly cute.  Ryan is now walking to and from school by himself. He and Ethan leave together, but from what I can tell, Ryan often leaves Ethan and his friends behind because "they walk too slow."

All SMILES walking to school on the first day.
And I wasn't too sad about not having to bike him to and from school every day either... win-win!

Learning to ride a bike

The boy is on a roll.  Just weeks after starting first grade, Ryan finally learned how to ride his bike without training wheels. So I had to make good on my promise to buy him a new bike...

Ryan and his new wheels

And even in learning to ride a bike, we discovered a cultural difference.  My friend, Iris, was visiting from the US and we were all helping Ryan practice riding a bike without training wheels.  When Iris, Kevin, or I helped him, we grabbed the back of the bike seat to hold it steady while running alongside Ryan as he pedaled.  Then one day, we were at the bike park and there were lots of Japanese parents also helping their kids learn to ride, as well as a Japanese-grandpa who worked at the bike park and was very invested in helping Ryan to learn.  The difference:  every Japanese person we saw helping a child learn to ride a bike grabbed the back of the child's shirt as they pedaled, not the bike seat.  I wonder how this happens in other countries... any comments from the peanut gallery as to how other countries do it?

Hajime no Kotoba (Opening Speech) at Ryan's First Undoukai

It was Ryan's first Undoukai and guess who was chosen to say the Opening Words in front of the whole school of 650 kids and all the parents?  Yep, the little first-grader American kid.  With a microphone.  On a raised platform.  In Japanese.  By memory.  We were quite proud.... 

To be honest, Ryan hadn't really made a big deal out of it and I didn't even realize what a big deal it was until one of my friends was asking him questions about it (in Japanese) and it suddenly became clear that this was a solo speaking part in front of everyone... Turns out that all the kids had to try out for the honor and Ryan was selected.

And Ethan had to share Undoukai with his little brother this year - and much to his dismay, Ryan's team (the white team) won!

My sweet Ethan at Undoukai 2014...

Starting Taiko

First grade brings lots of new opportunities.  Ryan recently joined the Meguro Bayashi Taiko Group - and he seems to be enjoying it.  Just a few weeks after he joined, the group performed at an all-school assembly at Higashine. Nothing like learning under pressure!

A little Lizzy Love...

Last week, it was a rainy Saturday and we were hanging out at home.  Lizzy was hanging out on the couch with Kevin and I was upstairs, when I hear, "Come quick, Lizzy is shedding!"  And this is what we saw - we were mesmerized.

Note:  As always, sorry for the delay.  After months of trying to resolve our iphoto spinning rainbow of death problems, we were finally able to rebuild the database last week.  Hope it was worth the wait!